Thursday, March 3, 2011

On Being a Fraud

The night had that liquid velvet feeling.
Sadness really is a disease; recovery is slow, and little by little, you gain use of parts (of your mind) that stopped working.
I'm glad I was never 'one of the guys.'
Dudes talk about the absolute dumbest shit.
And fist bumps? Yea....I've expressed how I feel about that in text messages.
(Comic gold that will not be shared in an uncopyrighted arena such as blogger)

I don't have a facebook.
I never wanted one.
My mind is an ever-changing story.
When you miss 4 or 5 chapters, seriously, do yourself a favor and put the book down.
There will be no hard feelings about it. It just is what it is; The Past.
They say 1 in 5 divorces is brought on because of facebook.
Are they sure its just 1?
Like my neighbor at work said the other day, "its not even an accident waiting to happen - its already happened....you know what I mean?"

He always says "you know what I mean."
Its like the way I always say "Basically"
Creatures of habit we all are.
Your feelings might change, but your instinct is more stubborn.
Feelings and instinct are not the same thing.
When the two contradict eachother, its hard to figure out which needs to change.

My instincts were always pretty solid.
Feelings on the other hand....not so much, huh?
Convincing yourself and others around you that you are not who you are is tricky business.
If you get really good at it, you kind of become the new person.
Eventually, you will be confronted by the old person, and the old person may even win the confrontation and decide to take the control back.
If this happens, everyone that met you as the new person might is at a loss.
But you are at more of one, because you are the one who knows what a fraud you are.

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